my favorite has always been looking forward, my downfall is often reminiscing... or really, dwelling on past hurts.
but i'm at a fresh point in my life, who knows if it will happen again: i can look back up to 5 (count them, five!) years and not feel overwhelmed with sadness. the good seemed to start outweighing the bad again in 2006 i guess. it's not that the last five years have always been easy or that i managed to avoid any big mistakes... i scraped through college, made difficult choices with mixed results, but i also was refreshed spiritually, challenged to become a whole woman of my own, i met the love i never thought i'd have and gave birth to the most beautiful little girl i could ever lay my eyes on.
and when i look forward i anticipate the challenges and think of them as things that may be hard, i may balk, but they are things that will shape us as a family and as individuals. we have a load of student loan debt: we can get through it, and faster than we think. we have a child to raise: i know we'll have days and weeks, but i just can't think of anything better then being ez's mother. i have a health/weight issue that i MUST conquer: i can. please remind of that and tell me to give myself some grace when i need it.
the horizon is endless possibility... and the waters around me are not engulfing me but welcoming me and allowing me passage.
these are things i am anticipating right now, the gleam in the corners of my mind and approach in their own times...
- continued motherhood
she'll be one in three months. we cannot believe how it has flown by and marvel at how different she will be in another year.
- my thirties
seriously. i am looking forward to this next decade and all that it brings. my twenties were good but strange and sad at times... i'm ready for this time in my life where i am and adult, a wife and mother, and who knows what else!
- a marriage that gets better with time
this is one of those things that never gets easier but it's been fun from the start. i am so blessed to have someone who cherishes me no matter how crazy i am ;)
- seeing eric develop as a teacher and minister
he is always surprising me.
- mom and i may be writing a book this year
more on that in another post
- all the unexpected stuff
bring it on.
we're going where? and without grandma and grandpa?
this is our first day with internet in exactly one month. we've been glued to our phones and fb mobile - alas! my daughter has jealousy issues with my phone now. pretty sure. considering the fact that we are now a one-car family in a new city, i am incredibly thankful that we're able to afford internet at home. i was beginning to feel a wee bit isolated, despite our planned "car days", walks and getting plugged into a great church... the daily routine is so silent! well, not silent when your donna ezri's mom, but... unvaried ;)
and besides all that - we have two sets of long distance grandparents and various relatives who are demanding skype time! my in-laws are now living in belgium for the next two years, and my parents received an exciting call to be Missionaries-in-Residence at freed-hardeman university and are arriving in henderson today. there has been a lot of change for the fam this summer... eric's parents, my parents, my baby brother and we have all moved in the last two months! and good things are happening.
over the course of our prep and move, we encountered remarks about the distance that we would now have to span to see family. i realize we all feel this differently because of our own upbringings and perspectives but it surprised me many times to be reminded that others do not see every change as a God-given, God-driven thing.
i've had the privilege of knowing my sweet husband's family for the past four years now, and have marveled at the changes they face every time the military re-assigns my dad-in-law and the facility with which my mom-in-law organizes each move. i'm also always amazed at how much the government takes care of our service members in aiding the moving process - compared to how preaching/missions families have to do it - wow!
i wrote a post inspired by their move a little while back, so i won't delve too deeply into it except to muse on the whole long-distance family relationships and the opportunities God gives us...
today i'm thinking about the challenges and opportunities that my in laws will have - to learn about and communicate with multiple cultures and to be the godly and loving witnesses they are wherever they go...
i'm thinking of my mom and dad and the adventure they are embarking upon. they've left a loving church family who sent them off with joy and tears and are about to go somewhere that has been a place to recharge and connect... a place where they will now be a source of encouragement and inspiration for students and those headed to the mission field.
i'm thinking of my brother and sister in law who have grown so much in the past few years as a couple, as christians and now as wonderful parents... they haven't moved far, just into a house that fits them, but i know they are using it to build others up already.
and us. mainly eric. this feels like the first place we get to be our own little family. we were blessed with a good house before we even got here, the school and church eric is working with has been warm and welcoming and perfect starting point for his teaching career. each little challenge (and they've all been little) and decision we've needed to make in the midst of the move, settling and starting work, i've marveled at my love and how much he's grown, how he is an excellent daddy, how he puts our needs first. he is using every opportunity God gives him to grow and to help others.
in brussels, in henderson, in fort worth, in macon... and so many, many other places where our hearts have gone, the links grow bright and strong because He is using us, if we let him.
there is a lot more i want to write. i'm hoping to start posting *at least* once a week now that we are settled. til then - cheers!