my favorite has always been looking forward, my downfall is often reminiscing... or really, dwelling on past hurts.
but i'm at a fresh point in my life, who knows if it will happen again: i can look back up to 5 (count them, five!) years and not feel overwhelmed with sadness. the good seemed to start outweighing the bad again in 2006 i guess. it's not that the last five years have always been easy or that i managed to avoid any big mistakes... i scraped through college, made difficult choices with mixed results, but i also was refreshed spiritually, challenged to become a whole woman of my own, i met the love i never thought i'd have and gave birth to the most beautiful little girl i could ever lay my eyes on.
and when i look forward i anticipate the challenges and think of them as things that may be hard, i may balk, but they are things that will shape us as a family and as individuals. we have a load of student loan debt: we can get through it, and faster than we think. we have a child to raise: i know we'll have days and weeks, but i just can't think of anything better then being ez's mother. i have a health/weight issue that i MUST conquer: i can. please remind of that and tell me to give myself some grace when i need it.
the horizon is endless possibility... and the waters around me are not engulfing me but welcoming me and allowing me passage.
these are things i am anticipating right now, the gleam in the corners of my mind and approach in their own times...
- continued motherhood
she'll be one in three months. we cannot believe how it has flown by and marvel at how different she will be in another year.
- my thirties
seriously. i am looking forward to this next decade and all that it brings. my twenties were good but strange and sad at times... i'm ready for this time in my life where i am and adult, a wife and mother, and who knows what else!
- a marriage that gets better with time
this is one of those things that never gets easier but it's been fun from the start. i am so blessed to have someone who cherishes me no matter how crazy i am ;)
- seeing eric develop as a teacher and minister
he is always surprising me.
- mom and i may be writing a book this year
more on that in another post
- all the unexpected stuff
bring it on.