okay, so that was slightly blasphemous i suppose... but honestly, that is where i'm at. so far this week, i've been able to make up all but one of my history assignments, make an in-depth power point presentation for lit., and make up three math tests ...
i have to eek these out before the end of the week. it's wednesday.
part of it is that i'm so tired of being in bible-land... part of it is that i am afraid of writing for this professor - the harvard man - and part of it is that until this week i literally felt paralyzed when it came to _any_ of this work.
so maybe typing all this frustration out here will start a writing streak. i need it, desperately. i've read a little, i've thought a little and i've even scribbled outlines. the thing i always hit when it comes to writing thoughtfully about any scripture or doctrine is that i either feel that it's so obvious that i don't need to express it, or that it's so enmeshed in scholarly-lize that i can't understand more than five words.
and all i need to do is find and angle and just start writing. but i don't care. i don't care about these subjects, i tried - i tried to work on a subject that irked me, and came to find out that three others in the class did the same thing. so, of course, now i don't want to do that. you know, i can feel it - i'm running completely out of excuses. this is good. this is really good.
there's so much crap going on for the rest of this week. tomorrow i have to make sure i go to class, make a presentation in lit, and then help with decorating the theatre for spotlight. normally i enjoy spotlight, i look forward to it - right now it's another impediment to my getting things DONE. oh, and then there's the chorale rehearsal that i will miss, again, for our big chapel performance.
oh, and then there's friday - chorale performs in chapel, i'll have to make up my last math test over algebra, and make up at least two of the memory verse tests for gardner. by then i need to have turned it at least the essay/outline and the 5 page paper. there, that's a goal, right? in the midst of all this - i need to get to jackson and buy my soon to be sister in law a lingerie shower gift and find food to serve at this gorram shower.
yeah - that's saturday. we have chorale picnic, a must - and something i've looked forward to until like, you know - now. and then this epic lingerie shower that i've felt under duress to arrange. i wanted to... and then there was all this drama around it. gah. stupid.
sunday? church. performance at henderson. 1 acts. the scramble for completion of all sorts of crap before finals...
oh yeah - and then there's 2-D design that i HAVE to salvage. i need to find time to talk to laquita, get a past due project done, buy paper for the final - and then create it before wednesday. in all my free time.
all my free time.
i've worked myself into a state of headache now. all that's left is to write out my master list, own it - then do it.