change. and sometimes when you least expect or want them to...
i'm adjusting to that today. my philosophy has always been on the generous side when it comes to loosing touch or simply loosing real connection with someone. some people are meant to be in your life forever... and some of the people you think are meant to be, simply aren't.
life is what happens while you're making other plans...
it's a simple truth that the minute you choose to take something for granted in this life, it will up and slap you in the face, one way or another. there are a couple of friendships that i have absolutely loved in the past three years of my life, that i simply assumed would remain. that the feelings were mutual, equally distributed, a blessing to both parties...
and now, i feel pushed aside, ignored, forgotten. these are people that i love, and want to look up to and cheer on in their endeavors, their lives... and i don't think they are purposely ignoring me, but it certainly feels like i'm forgotten and faded. they've moved on to the next shiny object. it hurts, i won't lie. i've questioned myself a lot in the past month or two, wondering what it is that has distanced us... some of it just seems like it was inevitable, or that this is just how things need to be right now. what is the use of straining at something that just doesn't work anymore?
life shifts and changes with the light, with each movement, each beat of my heart... i know this, and i count on the fact that through it all god has provided an ever increasing store of those who remain. the worthwhile few who always will stop what they're doing to talk when i need it (they know they can do the same to me), that even though we don't talk on a daily basis, they feel this connection. they are my "kindred spirits", and as Anne observed to Diana... "you know, kindred spirits aren't as rare as i thought they were..."
friendships are blessings, however long they last, and every now and then a kindred spirit shines through and continues to glow and pulse in the hearts of those who love them. right now, i just need to remember those spirits, and how they return the love i feel for them. there are so many faces to love, through friendships, family, romance... and i'm so thankful for each one as they've caused me to grow and become me.
